Sunday, August 26, 2012

Alien Movie Types

 3 basic types of alien movies.

Squishy Alien Movies

Any of the Men in Black films – high squishiness factor.

The Hidden – Kyle MacLachlan is an alien slug cop (or alien cop slug?) hunting a bad guy alien slug

The Andromeda Strain – excellent sci-fi, still with the oozing

Pretty much all the Alien movies with their various sequels, prequels, and cross-overs – lots of alien acid goo

Evolution – I have not seen this one, but from what little I read in Wikipedia, it involves blowing up a humongous alien amoeba. Oh, yeah. Plenty of squishy.

War of the Worlds – the recent one with Tom Cruise had a lot more goo than the original. Bigger machines, more goo, guess it makes sense.

The Blob – All of 'em. Nothin’ but 100% pure acid goo. And, mean, too. Or, maybe just misunderstood. Oh well. Freeze ‘im!

Cuddly, Friendly Aliens

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial – like eating cotton candy. So sweet you’ll go diabetic.

Close Encounters of the Third Kind – Really skinny aliens teaching us a new song and sign language

The Day the Earth Stood Still – Klaatu Barada Nikto. The Michael Rennie version. He's not really cuddly, but he is friendly. Well, at least he doesn't want to see us get zapped.

Mean Aliens

Alien – Oh, yeah. The collective gasp in the theater when watching the chest-burster scene will drop the air pressure so much your ears pop. He’s mean, squishy, and full of acid.

Independence Day – Really big heads, can’t take a punch, and desperately in need of better anti-virus software.

War of the Worlds – I still haven’t forgiven them for melting those three nice guys with the white flags. Grrrrr. Throw the germs at ‘em, boys. Not as much goo as the Tom Cruise version.

Species -- She's mean and squishy.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

We Lost Two Great Ones

Two familiar faces that many of us we grew up with left us recently. Phyllis Diller and William Windom died this week, both so young at 95 and 88, respectively.

Ms. Diller I have some of my earliest memories of. That trademark laugh, the hair explosion on her head, and that contagious smile. She was a wonderful presence on our TV’s who always made us smile and laugh. I’m smiling right now just thinking about her talking about Fang, her “husband”. Some of her humor I didn’t get when I was real little, but that didn’t matter. When I think of her I remember the variety shows we watched in the 50's, 60’s, and 70's -- terrific shows such as The Dean Martin Show (later The Dean Martin Comedy Hour), The Carol Burnett Show, and The Red Skelton Hour. She was a staple of what’s now called classic TV – we just called it TV. No classic.

William Windom I best remember for the brilliant series in the late 60’s, My World and Welcome to It. Mr. Windom starred as a cartoonist who “drew” cartoons that came to life for him. The cartoons were actually the cartoons of humorist James Thurber. Mr. Windom also portrayed a starship captain on one of my favorite episodes of “classic” Star Trek titled "The Doomsday Machine". He always brought a warmth and sincerity to his roles.

If they want to call the shows we watched back then “classic”, that’s fine. All I know is that is was quality TV. And two of our “classic” entertainers are gone.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Channeling the Cat

Julie Newmar, the one, the only, the original Catwoman, celebrates her day of birth today, August 16, 2012. She's 79 years young.
Other catwomen have tried clearing that cat-bar, some came close, but none quite compared with Ms. Newmar. She was Catwoman, just as Sean Connery was James Bond.
Eartha Kitt gave a good showing with that cat-like quality in her voice, but, nope, Julie’s still top kitty.
Lee Meriwether, well, she tried, but just wasn’t from the same litter. She looked a little too innocent to play Catwoman.
Michelle Pfeiffer did a good job of wearing the claws, but just couldn’t channel the cat.
Never made it through Halle Berry’s Catwoman.
Haven’t seen Anne Hathaway’s performance yet, so really can’t say. It doesn’t seem like her type of role, but we’ll see.
Ms. Newmar sleeked and silked (yes, I know, I just turned nouns into verbs). There was a smooth sense of cunning in her manner and her speech and she always appeared to enjoy the game. She was the only one who could possibly stay a step or two ahead of Bats.
Happy birthday, Julie Newmar!

Monday, August 13, 2012

Attention Deficit Film School

Subtitle -- This is What Happens When You Have Insomnia, a TV, and a Blog.

  • If dogs were in the movies:
    • "Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a.... squirrel!"
  • If cats were stars (oh, that's right -- they already are):
    • "Sure, she's the star -- she gets her own litter box. The rest of us have to share one."
  • Elmer Fudd as Captain Kirk -- "Aw wight, you wascawwy Kwingons... come out with youw hands up!"


Just how big is the TV universe? I mean, we had those folks in Petticoat Junction that knew some of the folks in Green Acres, and some of them knew the Beverly Hillbillies... just how far does it extend?
Here's what's running around our TV channels when we should be sleeping:
There's a show called ahh bra... an entire half-hour devoted to a really comfortable bra. More uses for "...breakthrough technology".
There's also a show called The Knife Show/Cutlery Corner. Man, what have I been missing?
Here's one called Free Money. Cool.

And, did you know there's an hour-long program called Extreme Cheapskates?  Not kidding.  It's out there.

I'm done now.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Classic Horror Film Club

On Tuesday night our intrepid band of classic horror movie fans watched John Barrymore in the 1920 production of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HydeJust a few thoughts on this version of Dr. J and Mr. H:
 
·      The music, most of the time, fit the movie, but later on, as the action and tens ion cranked up, it starts breaking into some lively little baroque pieces. I would call them minuets, but that’s probably not correct. Made me think of Bugs Bunny music (you know, where we all learned about classical music), or the short animated film, Bambi Meets Godzilla.
Bugs Bunny was right. Ol’ Mr. Hyde does have a pointy head! Always wondered why the cartoon versions of Hyde represented him that way. Well, there it was on the screen – John Barrymore’s Mr. Hyde, with bad dentures, fingernails only a manicurist could love, and… that pointy head. Interesting, the first few times he transitioned to Hyde, no point. With later transformations, he became more disfigured (translation -- more evil?), eventually revealing a seriously malformed cranium, which added to the creepiness factor. Mr. Barrymore would’ve made Jim Carrey proud with his facial gymnastics as he changed, looking demented, and at times, seductively demonic. That manic quality also made me think of another great transformational actor, Lon Chaney, Sr.

Loved the claustrophobic feel of the sets, especially the “exterior” shots (filmed at the Amsterdam Opera House in NYC – tried to find a little history on this old building, but the building is apparently long gone). All those London street scenes – all sets in NYC. That closed-in feeling certainly helped with the oppressive mood of the film. Those rich, sepia tones of the film, the flowery dialogue on the title cards, and the illustrations beneath or beside the images gave us the feeling of watching it as it was way back when.
“Damn It! I don't like your tampering with the supernatural.” – Dr. Richard Lanyon, to Dr. Jekyll

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Alien Movies -- Prequels and Sequels

My gang of movie guys and I saw Prometheus (Alien's prequel) the other night, and, afterward, standing out in front of the theater, not a one of us was really sure about what we saw. We all kind of liked it. Kind of. I think. It was loud and large, which, now that I think about it, was exactly the opposite of the original Alien.

The opening sequence I remember oohing and aahing at, as we flew over what appeared to be alien landscapes. We saw a physically perfect humanoid standing at the edge of a humongous waterfall, spaceship hovering nearby. He drinks some sort of goo that appears alive, then he starts to dissolve, lots of pain involved apparently, and does a swan dive over the falls. We then get the Fantastic Voyage-style shots they’ve used, especially since the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movie, traveling through what’s supposed to be the humanoid’s bloodstream and watching his DNA splatter and shatter. Then, a few seconds later, we see new DNA forming – is that supposed to be us, eventually? Reckon so.

And, that’s as good a description of Prometheus as any – guess so. Or, perhaps, sort of. It’s a “sort of” movie. It’s pretty, and lots of stuff happens, and I didn’t get up to hit the restroom once.

However, I’m still not sure what it was about. None of the characters had clear agendas. We learn a little about the “space jockey”, but not enough. At the end, I felt as though I watched a soap opera. They resolved nothing, and depending on how it did at the box office, there’ll certainly be another one.

So, basically, here’s what happened. Some people ate or drank some stuff, some stuff ate some people, some people ate other people, lots of stuff go boom. Silver screen cotton candy.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Weathering the Storm

And, now, it’s time for... Stupid weather terms.

Futurecast – Yep, it's an actual weather term used by a local weather station.  Now, I always thought a forecast looked into the future. Unless this futurecast term looks WAY far into the future, like when we have domed cities, and robots, and finally, flying cars. Must be what they mean, ‘cause Mr. Weather Guy just said something about looking into the future.  So, forecast has been replaced by futurecast.

Rain/snow/wind event – Not good enough to just have rain or wind or snow. Now it has to be an event. I wonder, is it an event like a festival, where there are marching bands, parades, and floats?  And, can we have a fair weather event, a cloudy event, or perhaps day and night events?

TOR:CON – This one sounds like one of Godzilla’s enemies, as in “Stay tuned, kids, for a giant monster romp, Godzilla vs. Torcon!” Another Weather Channel term (they made it up, folks), meaning tornado condition. Then they have some numbers after it, indicating your tornado chances.

Saw something on the screen just a minute ago – MaxRadar. Now, that would be a great name for an action hero, huh? Never fear, Max Radar’s here!

And, here’s a non-weather term – saw a newscast  about three jets having a near miss. Then, they say they had a near collision. Well, which is it? And, at what point does it go from a near miss to a far miss? Just curious.